Foothoosleblank

It is amazing what interesting bits of useful information can be found on the Internet while one is avoiding one's responsibilities.

I just happened to catch a little gem in the New York Times magazine from last Sunday about the sales phenomenon of the Snuggie, aka the blanket with sleeves.

Everyone who owns a television has seen this commercial. People who sit around in houses that are apparently kept at igloo temperatures desperately try to cover themselves with blankets so that they don't suffer from hypothermia, but the blankets slip off, and force them to uncover their hands to use the remote or answer the phone or eat.

But with the Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves, they sit there as happy as clams (if the clams were wearing blankets with sleeves). They talk on the phone, eat popcorn, use the remote, roast marshmallows outside, and go to athletic events, all while wearing the Snuggie.

Of course, the Snuggie is not the only, or even the first, blanket with sleeves. There have also been the Slanket, the Freedom Blanket, and a few other pretenders to the sleeved-blanket throne. But the Snuggie is the king.

Hmmmm.

Well, I say, why stop at sleeves? Why not add feet to the thing - don't feet get cold, too, especially when contemplating marriage to someone who owns a Snuggie?

Picture it - people sitting at an outdoor event, like a football game, wearing blankets with sleeves and feet. Maybe with a zipper up the back. And little rubber grippies on the bottom of the feet, so that they don't slip on shiny floors.

Oh, that's right - such a thing already exists. It's called a blanket sleeper. Babies and small children wear them.

Well, why can't adults wear them?

Think how practical this would be in the winter. They could come in four fetching colors - red, blue, green or yellow - and no one would have to worry about what to wear to work anymore. Not that anyone does worry about what to wear to work anymore, in the land of the perpetually casual.

All buildings could have thermostats set to forty-five degrees F. In fact, there would not really need to be heat at all, unless the temperature gets below forty. Think of the energy savings!

And the Fleevket, or Slebleet, or whatever catchy name the marketers can think up for this item could also have a hood on it, to keep the head warm.

Hoofeesleeket? Blahoofeeve? Sleefeehoodie? Whatever.

I think that I will immediately give up my lucrative day job, and go into business making these things. After all, if Snuggies can sell to the tune of sixty million dollars a year, and they only have sleeves, my idea could really catch on.

Of course, everyone would immediately resemble the characters from a certain children's program (minus the big hips, one would hope).

But perhaps that would be the price we would pay for real comfort. That, plus $19.95.